The Half-time Show
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The Half-time Show.

It's the half-time. The sides retire and out comes the band and the cheer leaders. They put on a big show during the break.

STOP DA MUSIC!


Rewind. I don't know if you've read my article, "Bingo, Ball and Booze". But "ball" is one of the three B's that that old English gent tried to convince me were the ways the government used to control the masses. I was skeptical and still am. But there is a red flag up for no other reason than this:

The repetitive nature of the sporting event, especially stadium type professional sports, causes the fan's mind to dispose of the parts of it he or she isn't using.  By the sheer repetitiveness of constantly attending the same type of event.  So when the announcer says, the crowd is loosing their minds, he or she isn't kidding. They've hit the nail on the head in more ways than one.

There may be a way around this. By introducing more variety into the spectacle. One way is to increase the half time shows from one show at half time to eight shows at eighth times. This has the added benefit of enhancing the strength of the athletes, since endurance is multiplied if the person rests at relatively brief intervals.

This was proven back in the sixties. Two runners one ahead of the other by 100 feet. If the one ahead rests till the other almost catches up, then sprints ahead and rests again till the other almost catches up, the first runner will easily outrun the second. This is one of the mysteries of the fauna physiology of multi organisms. It can be observed in large mammals swimming long distances in the sea.

The ideal, however, is to have three diametrically different sporting events in the same arena each replacing the other team at intervals, dividing the breaks into ninths, all to break at half time with the half time show divided into thirds with bands and cheerleaders for each of the contestants performing in their slots, each team's show taking the first or second segment of the slot.

For example, football, soccer and lacrosse rotating on the ninth intervals. Football gives the fans a sort of tactical stimulus, the soccer gives them visual target stimulus, the lacrosse makes them more aware of changing fields of activity. The best would be a stadium with field-warp capability, using natural or synthetic turf. At the third of nine, for example, the field is bowed by one hundred feet in two segments of the rectangle. At the fifth of the nine, the field would be extended by two hundred yards with a center warp (cross warp passing allowed or disallowed at either randomized or sequential selection).

This would increase the reasoning and intellectual capacity of the sports-going populous and thus increase the potential of their earning power and entrepreneurial initiative making the nation wealthier. May I point out here, though, that, regardless of flag-waving, the key elements the English gent was alluding to wouldn't be at all interested in national wealth. Only their own, adding weight to the gent's argument that by disabling the masses, they, the elite, would manage to gain tremendous wealth and power at the masses' expense.

You don't think the English gent was right, do you?

You know, it got so bad in ancient Rome that the emperor and nobility put on bigger and bigger spectacles in the arena for free and also had huge welfare dolls of free food. Nobody noticed that it was stunting the minds of the spectators. Man, that was some stunt. Even when they changed the shows, it didn't seem to help all that much.

I remember how dismayed dad was that I showed no interest in sports. It was all obviously so shallow and pointless. It reminded me of the depressing little games the kids in the neighborhood would make up that went on for hours. And the rules. Always the pathetically silly childish rules. Add some adult cleverness and something a bit dangerous like a hard ball traveling at 60mph and you've got a sport. Historic destroyer of minds. Wealth gotten at the expense of the poor sports fan who never grew up. It adds up. It tallies up.

Maybe the English gent was right after all.

Copyright (c) 2005 by Paul A. L. Hall.  All rights reserved.
 

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