Garage ' Em Off
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Garage ' Em Off



The American garage inventor outfoxed the big guys and changed the course of history as it was destined to be in the first place. 

I lived in a garage for a while.  I stapled a large sheet of transparent plastic to one of the walls and used a small ceramic heater inside creating a little heated bubble like a small stationary hot air balloon.  I called it the cocoon and wrote a book there.  But it reminds me of what some people can do when they don't worry about materialism.

How does the cliché go? "Try as you may"?

Well , well , well. Try as you may. Looks like there is some sort of battle between good and evil after all out there: a battle between the functionality of life itself versus the drive of subverted intelligence to produce a hermetic existence.

And let me assure you this "garage" inventor thing -- that's not indigenous to 20th-century America either. Since day one there's been this kind of lunatic effort to exercise control over human beings, human nature, etc., etc., on and on they go. Try to control it, it'll go wild. Try to put a lid on it, it'll explode.  As in every lid bit helps.

I'm sure it will take off even better in contemporary, 21st century China. Or in the back streets of New Delhi. I know you'll never believe me but you could just keep from wasting an awful lot of time if you're trying to control humanity.

It doesn't work. Somebody in the back lot somewhere, somebody in a garage, some Goddard out in a field with a couple of enthusiasts developing rockets, some Pierre and Marie Curie working in their little lab, some Socrates out there teaching a bunch of teenagers for free, whatever. I mean , it goes on.

I'll tell you about some of these "evil" guys. Going around in their perpetual Halloween costumes, wearing their religion on their sleeves, or whatever they're trying to do, I mean sometimes they're obvious, sometimes they're not. 

They're not very competent , you know. They go back to the gambit of history. They have a profile. They are notorious for trying to exert control. They think they belong to the ultimate tough guy clubhouse and each one of them imagines himself to be the ultimate bad boy.

Well, they all get old. They all fade. Eventually their activities wear off. And then, out of nowhere, out come the little "garage 'em offs" and produce some kinda little gadget that liberates mankind, rescues the universe, or whatever it is. It will always happen, whether or not you like it. And I'm sure you don't. Get over it.

Now it's curious, here, as we observe our little scene of two prize fighters in a boxing ring, coming out of their corners slugging away: when you study the situation, you've got to realize that there is no coexistence in this scenario. Having gotten that far, that will help you to size up your own situation in this ongoing scenario, on how you're going to deal with this sort of thing.

I mean , this is it. That is existence in a nutshell. That is Henry Ford driving out of his garage for the first time. Instead of Wolf Gong Schmidt or Harold Plush Bottom, or Enri Fondue, or Toboobadere, or Vladimir Vlascommavitch, or the man in the moon. Yes. Try as you may. And, believe me, in my lengthy travels I have seen quite an appreciable effort on the part of the controllers running around all over the place frantic, leash in hand, trying to snap it on 50,000 new collars that emerge daily. An exercise in futility.,

Well, have at it boys. You embarrass me, but I know you don't care about that; you're too busy trying to be important. So go ahead be that way. I hope you read this, it may save you some effort, and it may help a couple of million of you to keep from going insane. It's just that every time I hear some of your stooges use the term "bad guys", it makes me cringe. What if some of those people out there actually believed you? I mean, sometimes, if you don't watch it, you guys could really get away with something big, like burying all the intellectuals alive the way Emperor Chin of ancient China did.

Ah, I get it. Now that the microchip is getting smaller and smaller, some of you guys out there are actually going to try to go on a massive implant campaign, a campaign in the what next, in a massive state effort to monitor every human being on the face of the Earth. Well, if that ever happens I could speculate that that's the point where you start to make close encounters of the third type and they kick your little beastly backsides in a war of the worlds that viruses do not decide the outcome of. To paraphrase an old song "When Virus Eyes are Smiling". Or, to put it another way, try as you may.

Copyright (c) 2005 by Paul A. L. Hall.  All rights reserved.

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